Fall

In the 2 months since my last post I've made a lot of little observations and we've done a lot. So this will be long

New Job:

~     I have a new temporary job as of the beginning of November. This is a swiss/italian/pizza restaurant owned by a guy from Kosovo. I almost didn't have the job after the 2nd day when I asked what to do about needing a week of vacation in January. Restaurants here are very different from in the US. There are no chains, they are all small and personally owned and therefore the owners are usually tight for money so only employ the bare minimum of servers. He only has 2. So when you only have 2 servers, you are in quite a bind when one of them wants vacation days. Since I needed a week off in January he wasn't going to hire me because he wanted someone who wouldn't go on vacation. When I heard this I didn't want to work there anymore anyways. Then he called me back and said he could figure out that week in January, as long as I didn't have any other vacation. I told him I need a week off in May for my wedding (I didn't think this mattered because it was 6 months away) he said no never mind, he'll gonna find someone else. Seriously? But apparently he didn't find anyone else because he called me back to work for him.. So I told him I could only work until December 16th because I'm going on another vacation. Plus I don't want to work there any longer than necessary.

     I don't love it, I don't really like the other server I work with, she's so picky and specific about how everything is done and just always tells me what I'm doing wrong, but whatever, it gives me something to do and keeps me speaking French every day. Hopefully by January my nursing paperwork will be done and I can get a job at a hospital. 

Some food culture stories: 

~     I worked in restaurants for years, in the US when, when you're finished eating someone will come by and take your plate while the rest of the table finishes. Here you cannot do that! I thought I was being nice and explained I was giving them some more room at the table. The owner said I can't do this in Switzerland. You have to wait until every last person is finished to clear anything off the table. Even if everyone else finishes 20 minutes before the last person, you don't go near the table. Or they think you are rushing them. And Swiss/French don't like to be rushed through their meal. They take forreeverrrr.

~     Pizza is not sliced here, unless it is for take-out. But if you're eating the pizza in the restaurant it is eaten with a fork and knife. Not your hands. People here also eat burgers with a fork and knife, which is even stranger to me. Except at McDonald's.

~     I love bagels, bagels don't exist in Europe and when you find them, they're terrible. We found a highly rated bagel/pastry/tea place in Bern and decided to try it. I asked for mine with just butter and asked if they would toast it. The guy looked at me as if this was a strange request and says, well yes but then the butter will melt. I was like, "uhh... yeah, I know" Then I remembered that I've had cold sandwiches here with butter on them, they prefer cold, hard butter. At least the bagel was good, hit the spot.

Future Travels:

~     So our month of traveling, its a whirlwind. December 16-20th we're going to start in Strasbourg, France to see their christmas markets, then drive to Stuttgart, Germany, then Adam has a meeting in Mannheim, Germany and while he's there I'll drive down and explore Heidelberg by myself. All those places are close to eachother. Then we get back home for just a couple hours and go to the airport to fly to Barcelona. From there we rent a car and over the next 11 days roadtrip all over southern Spain. We'll spend Christmas eve at the hostel in Valencia and Christmas day we drive 6 hours to Seville. We fly back new years eve. We'll ring in the new year on the train from Geneva to Lausanne. I'll buy a bottle of champagne at Duty Free.
     Then the first weekend of Jan we're visiting my good friend in Belgium while she's vacationing in Europe. Then we're going to Florida Jan 10-15th to do a bunch of wedding related stuff and see both of our parents.

Past Travels:

~     In October we went to Sudtirol, a region in the Italian Alps (the Dolomites) that borders with Austria. I surprised Adam for his 30th birthday. Took him on the train and rented a car and he had no idea where I was taking him. This region was part of Austria until recent history so you don't feel like you're in Italy at all, in fact, they speak mostly German and the food is mostly Austrian. It was really nice, we loved it.

~     My mom came for a short 4 day trip at the end of October. We had a great time. I took her to Interlaken and we hiked. We also went to Gruyeres to the cheese factory and ate Swiss fondue (i like french fondue better) and then to a thermal bath, they have lots of those here.

~    The end of November we flew up to Manchester, England. Adam had a meeting. They have huge christmas markets. His co-worker got us 2 tickets to the Manchester United soccer game. That was fun! We sat right next to the "away" section. Which was bordered on all sides, every single row, by security guards. Apparently these fans can get violent when it comes to their beloved football team. When each team scored, they would look at the other fans and yell, get into shouting matches, and throw not so nice British hand gestures. 
     You're not allowed to drink in the stands, you have to finish your beer out by the food stalls, there's a big sign saying you'll be arrested if you have alcohol at your seat. Apparently the fans would throw the glass bottles at the field or at other fans. But it keeps the stadium really clean and the fans less drunk. It was definitely a different experience than a typical American sports game. And we got really into it.

~     We also took 2 weekends and took the train out to Lucerne and Bern to explore and take free walking tours and learn more about Switzerland and use the very expensive unlimited Swiss train passes we bought

Random stories and observations:

~     I joined a gym back in September to tone up and put some muscle on my bones because I have zero. Its just a little different here. For one, they don't keep the gym freezing cold with fans and a/c. Which is not good because I'm already sweating in the locker room before I even start my workout. I mostly take the group classes. The room for the classes has mild a/c but no fans, well there is a box fan but its never turned on. So its always SOO hot in there. When my class is right after something intense, when you walk into the room its so hot and sweaty and smelly. I don't understand why there is no ventilation in a room like this. Well, there's a little ventilation, coming from outside, which is full off people smoking on the sidewalk. So when I'm winded I take a nice deep breath full of cigarette smoke. And there's no water fountain, if I forget my water bottle then i'm screwed.
     Also they're very clean, you're not allowed to wear outside shoes in. You have to put shoe covers on when entering and change into shoes that you only wear indoors or at the gym. I change into other shoes but I wear them outside running too. I'm not about to buy a pair of shoes just for the gym. 
     And, culturally, you should change into your workout clothes once you get to the gym. People in Europe never wear workout clothes/yoga pants outside the gym unless they are actually in the process of jogging or something. This is disappointing because I love to wear yoga pants all the time, especially when I worked night shift and was always exhausted. Here I have to actually look presentable to go to the store.
     A funny story about this. We talked to a French person who visited the US and said to their American friend "wow, Americans are so healthy and fit" and the friend said "what makes you say that" and this French person said "well they are all working out and going to the gym, they are all in their workout clothes all the time." The American had to explain that Americans just wear those clothes normally and it doesn't usually mean they are working out.

~     Switzerland has 3 main official languages. French in the west, Italian in a tiny region in the south, and German everywhere else. (well, technically 4, there's an ancient language called Romansch that a teeny tiny percentage of people in the east still speak. Its the closest living language to Latin) 
     The German they speak is Swiss German, a completely different dialect than "high" German (Germans cannot understand them), and every region in Switzerland has a different Swiss German dialect. I've heard its very hard for a non-Swiss German to learn. But all signs and labels and newspapers are written in high German because they all know that too. 
     The typical Swiss person is fluent in at least 2-3 languages, including English. English is so widely spoken here that they voted to make it the 5th official language but it was voted down. But its basically the unofficial 5th language.
     Everything everywhere is written in those 3 languages, but since the majority of Swiss people speak German, sometimes things are only written in German. Going grocery shopping is a language lesson. I have to do a lot of guesswork if I don't find a french label. But I'm learning little bits of German. I do want to start learning basic German, since its everywhere, it would be helpful when we leave the french speaking area. 

~     German can be a hilarious language when you have an immature mind like me and Adam. Our favorite words we've come across are: 'ausfahrt' which means exit, 'extrafahrt' which means extra trip, 'Badgasse' which was a street name in Bern meaning Avenue of the Baths, 'Dammgasse' which was a street name in Germany, and 'Buttholz' which is in the name of a construction company. 

~     The Swiss learn English at a young age and all English teachers here are actually native English speakers. So at a young age they are taught a correct British or American accent and they have very slight accents when they speak English. I think its because of this that when I speak English with English speaking customers they don't automatically know I'm American. I've been asked 4 times now "wow, your English is so good, how did you learn to speak such good English?" 

~     In France, there is an entire aisle dedicated to cheese. Tons of cheese. Its fantastic. Here in Switzerland the cheese section is pretty small and that's disappointing. But what they have instead is an entire aisle dedicated to chocolate. 
     Swiss chocolate is said to be the best in the world. Switzerland consumes more chocolate than any other country. And it has to be made in Switzerland. Apparently its the milk. There's a region here that is said to have the best conditions in the world for the best grass full of all sorts of herbs for cows to eat and produce the best tasting milk/cheese. That region is Gruyeres, hence, the famous Gruyere cheese. This is also the milk they use for their milk chocolate. I wasn't a big chocolate lover before but now I eat a lot. It really is better. 
     You can buy Lindt and Toblerone in the US but its crappy quality because its made with US ingredients. Hershey's chocolate has such a small percentage of real cocoa in it that they are not legally allowed to call it chocolate and they have to label it "made with real chocolate." Typical American food industry. Crap.
     Like how a very good quality and good tasting French cheese (Reblochon) that is required for a staple in French alpine cuisine (Tartiflette) is illegal in the US. Because it isn't aged long enough. Its short by just a few days. But then they allow Velveeta to be sold. And Cheez Whiz. You should see a french person's reaction when I tell them what Cheez Whiz is. And we wonder why there's so much diabetes... ok I'll stop now.

~     I mentioned the strict recycling and trash rules in my last post. How you have to buy special taxed trash bags for non-recyclable stuff to encourage recycling, and they're expensive. A lot of people go shopping in France since its cheaper and we didn't understand why they wouldn't just buy trash bags there too. We did. Well I found out that if you are caught with a non-swiss taxed trash bag you are fined big time. So how do you get caught? Apartment buildings have cameras set up on their trash cans. People will open a non-swiss trash bag and find something with your name on it and then fine you that way. And there are also "civil police," your neighbors are watching you. Usually little grumpy old people will watch you and tattle on you. So we bought the swiss trash bags, $10 for 10 small ones, before we could get caught. 

~     I got a Swiss drivers license. If you're living in a European country for more than a year you have 1 year to transfer your foreign drivers license for a Swiss one, or you get in big trouble if your pulled over after that year is up. Adam never did this in the 3 years he lived in France, he tried to but the French administration system is so unbelievably obnoxious he gave up. But here it was easy, I was in and out with my new license in about 20 minutes. I just had call the Georgia DMV a few weeks ago to get a document with the date of my very first license and drivers test on it. I still have my Florida license but there's a sticker on it that says "not valid in Switzerland." Its not like we will ever drive in Switzerland, renting a car here is double or even triple the cost of the rest of Europe. When we've rented cars we take the train just across the border to rent in France or Germany. The other day we booked a car rental and when we clicked that we lived in Switzerland the price almost tripled, but when we clicked that we lived in the US the price went back down.

~     Switzerland is expensive, everyone knows this. It was recently voted one of the richest countries in the world. To give you an idea of how filthy rich some people here are, I saw a magazine called "How to spend it: Boating edition"... makes me want to throw up. If I had that much money I'd donate to so many charities.

~     On the ground floor of our building is a small grocery store, out front sits a homeless lady, every day from 8am-7pm. Since I pass her a few times a day I decided I'd give her something. Since it was about to be winter I went through my closet and found a hat, scarf and gloves. I gave this to her and she looked at it like "wtf is this?" and then looked at me and in broken french asked for coffee. That night after she left I found my gloves on the ground in her spot, I took them back. A couple days later I brought her that coffee. Again, she didn't say thank you, but asked for bread, tomatoes, salami. This annoyed me, but I went into the store anyways and bought her some food but I forgot the salami. She still didn't say thank you but asked for the salami. I said no, this is good, and walked away, angry. I'll never get her anything again. I give things to homeless people all the time and they're always so grateful. A couple weeks later I saw her wearing the hat I gave her. Now I cross the street to avoid her.

~     Our apartment building is full of families. We noticed that our neighbors leave their kids' bikes and razor scooters in the hallway. Without locks. One person even has a whole coat rack in the hallway outside their door. This was a surprise to us coming from France where anything left unattended anywhere is stolen within minutes. In Grenoble, Adam brought his bike, when it had a broken chain, into the hallway and left it there to fix it later, the next day it was gone. 

~     This last story I'm borrowing from a friend but relates to the post I wrote about the cultural class we took and how the Swiss aren't the most inviting when it comes to making friends. My friend's husband (who is not Swiss) worked with a guy for a year (who is Swiss) and they really got along, after a year he asked to get together with their wives for a drink sometime. The Swiss guy said "no, we already have enough friends from high school and stuff" ... can you believe that?! 
(I do want to say that the Swiss are super nice, I've never met a rude one, its just getting into their inner circle that I'm told is difficult)

Moving Day, Job, and other observations

    So we finally moved into our new apartment. I thought I was going to hate it. After the brief look at it we got when we saw it in June, filled with the old tenant's stuff, made me have a bad feeling about it. But once we got our own stuff in and unpacked, I actually love it. Its a 320 sq ft studio with a little balcony. Its the perfect size. We try to live modestly and minimally, its harder for me than for Adam. We've got extra stuff in the storage locker in the basement or else I don't know what we would have done. We made 3 trips to IKEA, each time carrying a big box back on the train with shelving units and dressers to build, among other things. Before this, the only furniture we owned was a bed, a kitchen table, and a small twin sized futon. Our French apt was furnished.

     The move-in process was a slight disaster though. We met at the apartment on a Thursday, the 15th, to get the keys and do an "etat de lieu" (walkthrough) with the previous tenant and the apartment building agency. Upon entering the room I immediately sensed tension in the air and could tell the previous tenant and the apt agency guy were having some sort of disagreement. Apparently she paid the whole month of September on accident and wants half the month back, since shes moving out the 15th. Understandable. Well the apartment guy says something about not being notified, they cant get her money back for some reason, she didn't notify them, she says she called for the past 3 weeks, its all in rapid french spoken by people with accents and i'm having a hard time understanding. This lady starts getting really angry and raising her voice. She's yelling that she won't give up the keys, because she hasn't gotten her money back, so shes not going anywhere until the end of September and we might as well leave because we're not moving in because shes not giving up the keys. He says that they will just change the locks if she wont give up the keys. They're going back and forth and I tell Adam we should go downstairs because I dont want to be a part of this. A few minutes later the agency guy comes down to review the walkthrough papers to sign, noting the crack in the tile and the holes in the wall, none of which I have seen to be able to verify because I was caught up in this arguement. Then the lady comes downstairs with a bloody hand, apparently she has hit the door trying to slam it or something. They have called the cops on her now. She starts yelling at us "Don't sign anything! this is a dishonest company! they were nice to me too at the beginning and now look, they will do the same to you! You'll see! Don't sign anything! you will benefit and I will lose!" 

     So we decided not to sign. One, because we didn't get to really walk through the apt ourselves. Two, I wasn't about to sign anything in front of her. We didn't know who to believe at that point. We were told a locksmith was on his way to change the locks right then. Luckily we had a few nights booked at a hotel and stayed there until the locks were changed, and the bathtub re-enamled, which they did 2 days late, so we had to wait to move in. So the process started on a Thursday, I spent my first night in the apt on Sunday. 
     Oh and she ended up giving the keys up and getting her money back that same night of the fiasco. But we still had the locks changed. Just in case

They have a very strict recycling system here. EVERYTHING must be sorted. paper, aluminum, plastic, and then the rest. You have to pay a special extra tax on the trash bags for everything else. Which makes you want to recycle because that's not an extra cost. I like it. I've always been big on recycling. Ask my parents how many times I yell at them for throwing away milk gallons and boxes, even wrapping paper at xmas.

They also have laundry schedules, we learned this when we looked at the other 17 apartments. Luckily, our building doesn't have one. I'm so relieved. In most buildings you get a specific time for laundry, for example, only on tuesdays. Or, even worse, every other tuesday, or only on tuesdays between 7am and 3pm. It would be annoying but I guess its nice to know there's a time where the washing machine is 100% yours, and you don't have to wait for other people.

Another interesting nurse fact I learned from my friend: They don't have to be CPR certified! WTF?! everyone gets it when they get a drivers licence, but you never have to re-do it, its optional. that doesn't make me feel very safe. Especially since every time I've taken it in the past 10 years, they change something. I can't keep it straight.

Oh my new job. My waitress job. I really like it. Its a small restaurant right on the lake at a marina. People pull up in their sailboat on the weekend, get lunch and head back out on the lake. The food is really good and I get free lunch every day. Its a small town and there's lots of regulars. Lots of nice people. The owner is the nicest guy ever. He's obsessed with classic American cars and shows me pictures of the 15 mustangs and Shelbys he's owned. I'm helping him plan his trip to California this winter. 

     Its good for my french practice. I speak it all day. Except when the occasional American or British customer comes. Which is more often than not in this region. Every Swiss person always asks me what my accent is. Where am I from? Sometimes I make them guess. Usually they guess right. Sometimes they think its British English (the american and british accents in french are pretty different) A few people have said German, one said Czech. Then the next question is almost always about the election. And I roll my eyes.  

     I've made a few language mistakes, ordered the wrong thing. Even though I repeat every single thing they order, some words are so similar and my accent makes them think I've said the right thing. Like once someone asked me for an ashtray, in french its cendrier (pronounced sahn-dree-ay). Well I thought she wanted a sangria, I repeated sahn-gree-ah? Oui, she said. I put down the sangria and she says "I didn't order this" and then picks up the ashtray and says "cendrier" and we all laughed and I probably turned a little red. 

     The best part is not having to worry about tips. I've read things before that are anti-tipping culture, and that the US needs to change and I never understood why it was bad. But now I do! It is soooo nice to be paid a real salary and not have to worry at every single table what my tip will be, aka my only income. Tipping isn't common in Europe, but this is a small town with generous customers and I get a tip about 70% of the time. but its minimal. its usually between 5-10% but I don't care. I appreciate the tip more now because I know they didn't have to do it and it means that they truly appreciated my service. And when I don't get a tip I don't care, because I'm making $21/hr. (keep in mind the cost of living here is outrageous so $21/hr is not the same as it is in the US)

     Food culture is different here, obviously, but i'm learning the differences more now. nobody likes ice cubes here, and when they do want some they just want 2 or 3. The owner had to tell me to stop filling the whole glass with ice.

      When you reserve a table it is yours all night. France too. and when all the tables are reserved we turn people away, because most people will sit at their reserved table all night. because a meal in Europe is never quick. A meal is a time to spend with friends and family and relax. People even come at 3pm, alone or with friends, order just a drink, as simple as a bottle of water, and just sit, for 1 or 2 hours, reading the paper or talking with friends. Its nice, slow, laid back. Not so hurried and rushed like in the US. 

     Speaking of water they usually only drink carbonated water here. You have to specifiy if you want still water. 

     They loooove their espresso. Everyone gets an espresso or coffee after a meal. Its just what you do. And usually dessert too. I had a table of 3 Americans and they didn't order any dessert or coffee and when the owner saw me give them the check he was like "what? they dont want coffee? no dessert?" I said "no they're american we don't really do that very often" People must think Adam and I are crazy when we go out to eat, we don't drink wine (another big thing here), we don't get coffee, we don't get dessert. Such weirdos. 

     Also, to them, normal apple juice is carbonated. I had no idea our apple juice at the restaurant was carbonated so when a mom asked if we had non-carbonated apple juice I said yes, because why would you have carbonated apple juice? I gave it to her kids and they drank it and made a funny face. She said "I thought it wasn't carbonated" I said I had no idea that it was. The next day someone asked the same thing, when I said it was carbonated she said "so its just normal apple juice." Apparently that's their normal. Strange to me.

Anyways. While I'm off facebook, just a break, just a couple months, I might still post in here so if you're interested check back every few weeks to see if I've found any more random observations or crazy stories to write about. That's what traveling is though, random cultural observations (my favorite) and the occasional minor crisis and annoyance. But I love it.

Cross Cultural Training

Yesterday Adam and I went had a meeting, organized by his company, with a lady from a company that does what is called Cross Cultural Training. It lasted 8 hours and it was just the 2 of us. Its designed to educate employees who have moved from abroad about their new culture, common dos and don'ts, guidelines for interaction with various people, etc. The lady giving the course has lived in the US and France and is very culturally conscious. I didn't know what to expect but ended up really enjoying it and learning a lot of useful tips. Some of it I like, some of it will take some getting used to. I think you will find all this pretty interesting too, and this is only a little bit of what we learned:

First she asked us what we wanted to learn about Swiss culture. We said one thing we wanted to know basic rules on how to interact with our future neighbors, is there a specific do and don't in these and other interactions? Because in the US, neighbors commonly greet the newbees with cookies or invite them over for coffee to introduce themselves, things like that. I said I wanted to know about relationships between doctors and nurses, and nurses and patients. Because what I'm used to, at least at Stanford, is while nurses, doctors, techs, and secretaries all have different roles, we all work together as a team on the same level, we all get along great and are even great friends outside of work too. 

The first response I got was, in a serious tone, "The Swiss are never friends with their co-workers. We do not understand this about Americans." She said the basic philosophy and cultural value behind this is a motto that says "If its not business, its my business" The Swiss are very private people and the line between business and personal life is very defined, whats considered "intimate" is anything that is not work related.  She said, in a business setting, you could work in the cubicle next to someone for years and not know if they have children, because that's personal life and not to be discussed at work. I smiled at this point, thinking to myself about all the extremely personal and inappropriate conversations that happen between 4 and 5 am at the nurses desk. I said that, in my years as a travel nurse and moving to cities where I knew no one, I relied on my job to provide me with friends and that it is very important to me to really get along with my co-workers since we spend so much time together. As a result, some of my very best friends today were my coworkers from travel nursing assignments. She said that, of course, in Switzerland you can like your coworkers and get along great, but you would not have any contact with them outside of work. This happens, from time to time, that a coworker develops into a great friend, on occasion she's been to a birthday/christmas party of a co-worker, but its not very common. She said I will have to find other means of making friends. 

Back to Swiss valuing their privacy and things they would consider "intimate." The Swiss home is considered intimate. Much different than American culture and might be hard for us to understand. You would never be invited into a Swiss person's home unless you are a very dear friend. And even if you were, the living room and dining room are the only areas of the house that are open to you. The kitchens in Swiss homes are separate, not open to the living room like many American homes, and it is considered an intimate area, not to be entered unless you are family. When living in the US, she was shocked and thought it absurd that when going to someones home for the first time, they would immediately take her for a tour of the whole house, even showing her the bedroom and bathroom, which in her mind should be very private.
The refrigerator is extremely personal. Opening the refrigerator of a Swiss is one of the rudest things you can do. She would only do this at her parents or siblings house. 
When invited to a Swiss home for a meal, it is more polite to NOT help the host clean the dishes, because doing so would require you going into their kitchen. It is more polite to sit and let to host clean themselves. 
When saying hello to a neighbor, wait until they have closed the door to their apartment. It is rude to say hello while their door is still open, because by saying hello with their open door, you are looking into their apartment and looking into their private life. 
She said if we ever invited a Swiss person into our home they would come out of politeness but would feel quite uncomfortable while there. They would be very touched at this gesture and would want to reciprocate but would never feel comfortable letting you into their home, so since they know of no way to equally reciprocate such a kind gesture, they will most likely just never talk to you again and avoid you.

She compared Swiss people to coconuts. Hard and not so pretty on the outside. really difficult to penetrate. But once you have it gets softer, and once you are all the way in its completely open. And you have complete trust and permission into the Swiss's personal life.

They are extremely punctual and schedule/time oriented. If a business meeting is to start at 9 am, it will start at 9 am, sharp. If you want to have the usual chitchat about the weather and your weekend beforehand, you must come 5-10 minutes early to do this. If it is supposed to end at 10 am it will end at 10 am. If it threatens to go past the scheduled end time, it must be mutually agreed on by everyone that its okay if the meeting will last 30 extra minutes, if not, they will schedule a time when it is convenient for everyone to finish the meeting. Being schedule oriented, they know that when a meeting goes over by 30 minutes, people might be inconvenienced because they will have other things on their schedule to do. Also, getting to a meeting or interview too early is also bad form. 5-10 minutes is okay, but any more and you will be seen as not knowing how to manage your time correctly, and if you can't manage your time correctly than how can you manage anything else? It could have huge implications on whether you get the job or not, even if the interview goes well otherwise. (I got to my interview 15 minutes early a few weeks ago... oops)

the Swiss also consider slowness as a virtue. Politics are slow, administration is slow, they believe if something is done slowly then it is sure to be done correctly. Quick means hasty and a possibility of mistakes. This comes into play with friendships, which is why, when meeting a new neighbor for instance, start with Bonjour and no more. they don't know you so will be very slow to want to get to know you.

After this information I now understand what was meant by the various French people who, after learning I was moving to Switzerland, would say "hmmm, the Swiss, well, they're not the French" 
In France it is very different. When it comes to friendships and privacy, it is much more like American culture. One of Adam's best friends is his French co-worker, who has invited us into his home many times, lets us cook in his kitchen, I've slept in his son's bed. The french are very warm and welcoming and we felt comfortable with all of them.

The other thing she discussed with us was the roller coaster of emotional stages related to moving to a different country. Adam has been through them all before, having already spent 3 years in France, and I felt them too in France, maybe more mildly though. She said at some point you will reach a stage of culture shock that can be very bad for some people, in a few cases it can lead to depression. This usually hits around the 3-6 month point. A realization that some of your very important cultural values do not align with the values of your new country and you must figure out how to cope with that. That we may wonder what we're doing here, what's the point, we just want to go home. She also said that throughout this entire roller coaster of emotions we will have little support from those at home, because nobody will get it. And we will really need each other. This is true, there have been a few times I've complained about things to someone and the response I get is "how can you complain, your living in France/Switzerland!" 

She mentioned that psychologists have identified the top 3 most stressful things a person can go through, and I remember this from nursing school too: 1. death of a loved one. 2. Separation/divorce. 3. moving. but they only studied people moving from one city to another within the same country. So moving from one country to another has got to come before 3!

People think living abroad is all sunshine and rainbows, and while there are a lot of cool things about it, (and the opportunity is such a cool and rare one that we are voluntarily going through the rough stuff) it is very, very difficult. When you have few or no friends, when the language is different, when the culture is not what you're used to, when the process of finding a job and just getting settled with anything is 10x harder because you're foreign and more documentation is required for everything, documentation that's not always easy to obtain, it wears you down. Its hard to stay motivated and positive. Forget the view of Lake Geneva and the Alps down the street, you want some normalcy every so often, normalcy that's not easy to find. My normalcy is with Adam (and an occasional trip to Starbucks). You want to see your friends and family but nobody can afford to fly to Europe or take time off work and you can't afford to keep going back to the US. People say they will visit you and you start looking forward to it, get really excited about it, and then life gets in the way and they can't come anymore. Scheduling phone dates with friends every few weeks instead of calling them whenever you feel like it. 

Apart from that, I actually love living in Europe, for the most part, I actually prefer the culture and lifestyle here much more than US culture and lifestyle. And, honestly, we're glad to be away from the US these days. According to the "cultural profile" I filled out yesterday the lady told me I am not American at all, I align much more with an Italian's profile actually, and that I might have a very difficult time re-assimilating back into American culture. I'm not sure if I believe this, but we'll see, I could see it being true to a degree, though. But we will come back some day, sooner than later. I don't want to be so far from my family, especially when little half-asian babies come along. I would feel guilty if I never came back. Plus, if I can't have the same job role and work life that I'm used to in the US, then I don't want to stay, because I LOVE my job. But the plan is to give it 2 years, for better or for worse, no matter what happens, to get the full experience and see how everything pans out. It may be difficult and there are days when I want to pull my hair out and scream when I find out about another obscure document I have to track down, but I can't give up just yet, I've barely started.

I'll end this with one thing this cultural training lady said to us, who has been doing this training for 15 years. She said that when the international move happens to a couple, all the stressful things that happen to the people individually and to them as a couple will really test their relationship, and if that couple comes out of it still strong, well that couple is meant to be for life. And I have no doubt that Adam and I will crush this Swiss experience together because there's nobody more meant for each other than we are.

1 month in Switzerland

today marks 1 month in Switerland. and I spent almost half of it not in Switzerland. We started out with bad luck on the apartment search and my job search but some good progress has (finally) been made. 

Apartments:

     We were avidly searching for apartments the first 2 weeks we arrived. We expected to be in this temporary housing 2-4 weeks, maybe 6 but we thought that was in an extreme case. Well we are the extreme case. We saw a grand total of 18 apartments and submitted our application for 10 of them and we were rejected for all of them. 

2 places rejected us because they thought the apartment was too small for 2 people. What's it their business how we want to live? That made us mad. Another rejected us because they wanted only Swiss tenants. Another rejected us because we didn't have our Swiss residence cards yet, and we're assuming this is why the rest of them rejected us too. 

     Now these residence cards can only be applied for the day you move into the country (which is what we did) and they take up to a month to be processed and sent in the mail. In that mean time, you get a paper that is supposedly just as good as the card, stamped and signed, to use until the card comes in the mail. Apparently this paper was not enough but we were told it was the same thing. Which made us even more mad because how is any expat supposed to find a place to live for that 1st month? We started losing hope. 

     Last week, when we were nearing on our 1 month mark, Adam contacted his company to ask for an extension to the 1 month they allotted us for this apart-hotel. At first they said no. Adam explained our situation, we've been actively searching, we're not taking advantage of the free housing, they said they'd figure something out. They came back and said we get 1 more month but we have to pay a percentage now.

      At the same time, while I was in the US, Adam got his residence card in the mail (they wouldn't give him mine because I had to personally sign for it) and asked the housing agency to re-apply to all of the apartments we'd been rejected from. They were all gone except for one. We didn't love this one but it was reapplied for and we didn't hear anything. For all of the apartments, we were told if we didn't hear back in 2-3 days, it means we were rejected. This is how most of them went before.

     So last wednesday we were looking at our 18th apartment when Adam got a call telling us we'd finally be selected for an apartment! One day after I got my residence card and we had a "complete" file. I got really excited and then not so excited as I listened to Adam's end of the call and realized it was that one that was leftover that wasn't our favorite. We had only applied for it because its next door to the train station (Adam's top priority). We decided to wait 24 hours to accept and see if the 2 other apartments we'd recently seen (and liked better) would come through. They didn't, so we accepted our seemingly only option. 

     So here is what we have: a 320 sq ft studio on the 6th floor of an old building that has a grocery store on the ground floor. It has a balcony that faces the back of the property which has a view just of other buildings and a small open lot. If you crane your neck to the left you can see a little bit of Lake Geneva. The apartment hasn't been redone is a good 30-40 years. The kitchen is very small and old but it does have an oven with 4 burners! (in France we had no oven and only 2 burners, which is the same thing we're working with at this temporary place). The bathroom is very old and the bathtub is horribly stained so we are requesting it be re-enameled. There is 1 small closet and designated storage space in the basement. There is also a washing machine in the building but Swiss buildings have laundry schedules for tenants so we'll have to find out what that is. There is also one of Lausanne's few homeless people, the same lady, who sits in front of that grocery store every day.

    I'm very glad it faces away from the street and is so high up. Less chance of cigarette smoke entering through the windows. Which was a big problem in France on the ground floor facing the street, and now in our 2nd floor temporary apartment facing the street and a cafe. The French and Swiss smoke like nothing I've seen before, its everywhere, and I HATE cigarette smoke more than anything. (My college friends know this is not an exaggeration). It sucks because there is no A/C so you need to keep the windows open but I can't because there is an almost constant flow of smoke into the windows. I have to be realistic that at least 1 of our new neighbors will smoke. And I will probably get occasional wafts of smoke in my apartment. There's just nothing you can do about it here. 

     Oh and we can't move in until September 15th. So we're stuck in this temporary place 1 more month. Adam's clothes had accidentally been packed and he'd been living off the same 4 shirts and 2 pants for a month so we had them delivered and they arrived today, for $250. Otherwise we have no access to our belongings in storage.

Jobs:

     Adam's company is giving me job support so I met with an agency that is supposed to help me look. I'm not putting much faith in it because its usually for business jobs and the nursing world is just so different. After our first meeting she put an estimate of 6-12 months on the job hunt. Saying that because I'm American, employers have to fill out extra paperwork and put in extra effort to hire me so I'd really have to network and sell myself. Even for a little cafe or grocery store job that I was hoping to get until I found a nursing job. That didn't make me feel very good.

     Don't know if I mentioned in the last post that Adam happened to meet a wonderful nurse, Valerie, on the train. She's actually French but has worked here for 25 years. We met up and she's been networking for me and calling HR departments and telling important hospital people about me and giving me tons of information on nursing and living in Switzerland in general. She's been a life saver! And way more help than this corporate job assistance person. She advised me to try working in the clinics. Here the concept of a clinic is the opposite of a clinic in the US. A clinic in Europe, where they have socialized healthcare, is where the people go who pay the big bucks for private insurance (the highest and most expensive tier). Its very fancy and very hoity-toity. Its better for me to work here because a lot of expats will come here because they work for big, rich companies like Philip Morris and Nestle so my English speaking will be really useful. Also because I can work as a Labor and Delivery nurse. In the public hospitals, midwives and only midwives take care of women in labor, and they deliver the baby too. Doctors are rarely used, only for c-sections and high risk deliveries. Nurses can only do ante-partum and post-partum care. I thought I'd have to get stuck with that for the next 2 years, or worse, med/surg. But at the clinics, the midwives act only as a Labor and Delivery nurse, and like in the US, the private doctor comes around occasionally and is called for orders, for problems, and for the delivery.

    Valerie helped me translate my resume into french and let me use her as a reference to vouch for my french speaking abilities, and I sent it off for a Midwife position at one of Lausanne's fancy private cliniques. She told me it usually takes 2+ weeks for them to respond. I got a response in just a few days, rejecting my application (probably they saw the word American and that was it). We thought this was strange because Valerie had talked with someone in HR there. Just a few days later I received another email telling me to call them back because actually, now they wanted to interview me.

     I had an interview, 100% in french, with HR and then with the midwife in charge. I explained very clearly to them that my job role is exactly the same as theirs even though I'm not trained as a midwife. She took me on a tour of the unit and explained some things to me. There is no straight nights or day shift. You have to rotate, and there is no pattern to it. Just a mix of nights and days. Terrible. Its not hourly its salaried. So extra hours are not paid. It seems like an LDRP. I'd also have to take care of GYN surgeries They only do 600 deliveries a year. I should have told her I was used to working at hospitals that did 4,000- 7,000. I had lots of questions on the differences between here and the US. 

      To my fellow L&D nurses you won't believe this! She gave me a recently delivered patient's chart to look through. First of all, its all paper charting. No computers. and whats worse, no central monitoring! For such a beautiful facility I feel like that's archaic. You can only see the tracing on paper and in the room only! And OMG get this: I asked how often we have to chart on the strip and she looked at me like I was an alien and said "why would you do that? you have the tracing right here in the chart you can look at it and see for yourself" That floored me! There's a lot of writing directly onto the strip, which older nurses have told me is the way it used to be. But the amount of free time US nurses would have if we weren't charting on that darn strip every 15 minutes, can you imagine? Its a very American thing, Americans love documentation because they love to sue people.

     Anyways the interview was Friday, Valerie seems the be very optimistic about it, is sure I will get the job. This morning I got the same exact automatic stock email that I got last week telling me my application was rejected. I wasn't sure whether to take it seriously,  Valerie says not to because its just an automatic reply type of email. So I'll keep waiting. She said it can be very slow. And then all the sudden they'll call me and want me to start the very next day (they did this to her). So we'll see. 

     I also met an American nurse who works med/surg at this clinic. I talked with her and she calmed my fears a bit. She got a job in 2 weeks when she moved here. She said to forget the official nursing license recognition, private clinics don't care, they're private and they can do what they want. Just to take my time in getting it and not to stress like I was. She also said, of course, the language barrier is tough at first, new vocabulary, medications all have different names (generic and brand names), and sometimes doctors might get mad when you keep asking them to repeat themselves, but that when they learn you're American they will instantly respect you. She said doctors have a great appreciation for American work ethic and know that orders will get done when they tell her. Now knowing 2 nurses, I'm feeling much better about everything.

That's all for the updates now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this job!

     

We made it to Switzerland

I realize I should probably change the name of this blog. But I think I'll leave it for now because my dream was always to move to France, and I did, and this is what came out of it.

This whole process started back in October and we're finally here. It always felt like it was so far away but now we're here and I have to be an adult now. I have to find a job. I need to start saving money instead of completely draining my bank account every few months. This will be good, I'll experience real life as a normal expat and not just some fantasy life. Who knows how long we'll stay here but its time to have a normal life. I actually don't want to go on anymore big trips for a while. Its exhausting. Not to mention the world is getting scarier every day. I just want to explore the region around us and relax. We're buying this pass that gives you unlimited access to all forms of transportation everywhere in Switzerland. We can take it to the borders and then explore Germany, Austria and Italy too. 

We went looking for apartments in June, we have an agency helping us, the system here is different than in the US. Its also very difficult to find something, it seems there are more people looking than there are available apartments. When you like an apartment you submit your application/file for it. The owner gets several applications for each apt so you just have to wait and see if they will choose you or not. So far we haven't been chosen for any of the apts we've applied for. So we are in an apart-hotel for anywhere between 1 and 6 weeks until we find something. Its a studio with the basic necessities. Our belongings are packed away in storage somewhere. Since this is a corporate move, a moving company came and packed everything away for us. But its hard to get into the groove of living here if we're still living out of suitcases.

Switzerland, as you may know, is extremely expensive. We will be paying close to triple for an apartment that will be smaller than what we had in France. Groceries are close to double the price. So Adam went to the big grocery store before we left and bought mass quantities of any non-perishable item he could think of. I don't think we'll need cleaning products, toothpaste, pasta or mustard for 2 years.

We won't be eating out much in Switzerland, we did once last month when we were apartment hunting. We went to a mid-priced restaurant and ordered middle-priced items on the menu, and got dessert, and it was $108. You have to pay for water, and the 750ml bottle we got cost $8. We also plan to become semi-vegetarians because the cost of meat here is ridiculous. Chicken is like $35/lb ($17/kilo) even at Aldi.

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The Euro Football tournament was in France for all of June and July so every time France played people would riot. Cars honked their horns incessantly for a good 2 hours. It was obnoxious. Our friend lives at the main rioting intersection and he said it would get violent, they even attacked the cops. For the last few playoff games this happened. Then the final, France vs Portugal, Portugal won, we expected craziness, but it surprisingly didn't happen, the police patrolled well enough to prevent it that night. 

I don't know what it is about rioting and protesting but given any opportunity, I've noticed, the French will do it, and it usually turns violent. You should have seen them in May and June protesting this new labor law. I disagree with it too, but this is France so they marched the streets regularly, always new graffiti in their wake, the tram lines would shut down, they'd gather at the parks. French people I know always told me to stay away if I ever saw them gathered to protest because by the end, when the civilized people have gone home, there are usually people who get crazy, break windows, stuff like that. It got so bad that truck drivers blocked entrances to gas stations and oil refineries across France and eventually a good part of France didn't have gas. Some guys near Paris set a police car on fire with cops still in it. The trains striked, so did the the Air France pilots and the air traffic controllers. It was crazy. 

Our last week in France was busy. I had some sort of virus and one of those days I could barely get off the couch with a fever and body aches. I packed our clothes and organized what we would need for the temporary housing. I tried to get a reservation at our favorite restaurants, one of them I called and they guy said he had closed the restaurant down for a few weeks because it didn't have air conditioning and it was too hot inside. So we went to our other favorite, where we order an iron spiked stick, with chunks of duck meat on the spikes, that is set on fire, and hangs over a pot of fries and the juices just drip into the fries. Its amazing. We said goodbyes to all our friends, who we will really miss. 

So far Lausanne is very nice. We've just been walking around and learning the streets. Its on Lake Geneva (Lac Leman) and its extremely hilly. Navigating is difficult because you look on the map and you need to turn right but the street you need is 200 feet below you and you have to figure out how to get down there, its a good workout.

Its much prettier than Grenoble. Grenoble is surrounded by mountains which is beautiful and great for outdoor people like us, and honestly we will miss the close proximity to them, I'm not sure there's anywhere else where you can literally live right in the mountains while still living at sea level and having normal weather. But as a city Grenoble was not the nicest. The buildings were pretty dirty and ugly and not usually the classic french style. And nobody picked up their dog poop. Which is just gross. Here in Lausanne the buildings are classic small town french/swiss architecture and its very clean and even ritzy in spots. And it feels like more of a major city, even though its just as small as Grenoble. Its the smallest city in the world to have a Metro. They get tourists. And there's even a few Starbucks.

About 30-40% of the people living in Lausanne are expats. I think that goes for most of Switzerland. Just walking through the park or the store you hear a variety of languages. This is a huge plus because we've heard the Swiss are hard to make friends with. 99% of our friends in France were not French so hopefully we'll find other expat friends here easily too.

I think we're going to like it here. 

Spring

I've been back in France now almost 2 months and it has been a very busy 2 months. This week is my first break. 

School: I enrolled in intensive french courses for the month of May. I also enrolled in prep classes for the DELF, which is the fluency test that I was scheduled to take at the end of May. My first month back I had up to 6 hours of classes a day and studying in my spare time. I took the test 3 1/2 weeks ago and I still don't know my results. They will me mailed to me within 4-6 weeks, typical french.

Traveling: Since the test we've been traveling non-stop and its still not over. 2 hours after I finished I headed out to Milan to join Adam who was there on business. 3 days after getting back I flew to Russia for 10 days. From Russia we went straight to London and then to Paris. This week we go to Switzerland to look for apartments. Next week we go to India! My rain curse has proven to be more real than ever before. Each time I arrived in a new city the weather was fine but rains moved in that same day and didn't leave until literally the day I left. Every. single. time.  

Russia: 

The more I travel and learn about each city I'm in, the more I love history and want to learn about different cultures. Russia is so huge with such a vast history and culture so its been high on my list for a while. So when Adam said he had a meeting in Moscow I was very excited. Getting a Russian visa was a pain in the butt and very expensive. 2 days before our trip Adam found out his visa was being held for extra controls and wouldn't be ready for another week. So I went without him.

I signed up for a bunch of tours and stayed in hostels to try to meet people so I wouldn't be alone too much. Moscow was great, very pretty, very clean, very safe, all around nice city. But not really made for foreign tourists. There were very few foreign tourists at all, only Russians. Nobody speaks English. Every meal was an adventure because I just pointed at things not always knowing what I was getting or how much it would cost. Even the museum exhibits were written only in Russian. The subway (which I used often and is absolutely beautiful) was only in Russian. But I navigated it very well. I learned the alphabet so that helped. 

St. Petersburg was very different than Moscow, just as pretty but in a different way, and much more touristy. Finally, English options for everything. Adam met me there after 8 days of traveling solo. The architecture in both cities is very pretty and very European looking. The orthodox churches were a nice change from the standard European gothic cathedral. In Moscow I learned a lot of Soviet history. One of these days I'll upload my pictures.

The weather in both cities was terrible, many days it was only 46 degrees, luckily I packed warm but that was way colder than I expected. 

I gotta say, when it comes to certain countries, like Russia, don't always pay attention to the American media. They paint Russia in a very bad light, on purpose, and the Russians know this. Adam met a Russian girl who said Americans who come visit Russia are heroes because they want to see Russia for themselves instead of always believing what the media says. I almost got scared into not going because of this and I'm very glad I went. I saw 2 beautiful cities, no different than any other major city, with great people and had a great time. I hope to go back someday and take the trans-siberian railroad all the way across the country.

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Wedding planning is going smoothly. All the major stuff is booked. The wedding is so far off I don't need to pick the planning back up until the fall. Which is when we wanted to have the wedding in the first place. Then Switzerland happened so we figured early spring would be better, then because spring = spring break in Florida we had to push it back more. Oy, the year will fly by I'm sure. 

We are counting down our last weeks in France. Our move to Switzerland is scheduled for July 15th. Its crazy expensive there so I'll need to find a job asap. I'll be sad to leave France but Switzerland should be a fun adventure.

Changes in Plans: Part 2

So my last post was about 4 months ago and it ended hinting at some changes to our future. At that time we had only just found out about this opportunity and had to wait months to get more details and make a decision. Well as of today the decision is final, and 5 months of stressing about it is finally over. I'll try to make this very long story short: 

First of all, the tentative plan was to come back to the US to settle down in Summer 2016, mainly because I can't work as a nurse in France and my fantasy lifestyle of traveling Europe and not working was really hurting my bank account.
Then one day while we were on a road trip in October Adam got a very unexpected call from his manager saying that the company is essentially moving the French office to Switzerland and he is going to be part of that move. But that no other details would be known until February. And at that time he would get details of the transfer package
The reason this flipped everything upside down is because Switzerland accepts American nursing licenses. The other reason is because Adam was only given 2 options: take the transfer package to Switzerland or take a severance package and leave the company.
Living and working in Switzerland sounds amazing to most people but for us, having already lived in Europe, the shinyness of it had worn off and we were starting to be ready to have our American lifestyles back. Living in another country has its pros and cons.

Here were our 2 options:

1) move to Switzerland, Adam would stay in his same job, same role, just different location, and be given all the necessary paperwork and bonuses for the move. I would have to submit piles of paperwork to get my nursing license recognized, do an internship, look for a job, perfect my french, and work in a foreign hospital in a foreign language with different practices and it terrifies me. But we'd get lots of vacation days and be able to keep our traveling lifestyle, but also see our families very rarely.

2) move back to the US, as a nurse I can get a job anywhere easily. And Adam would have to quit his job and go through the annoying process of finding a new job in a new city and learning a new business. And we might always wonder if we regret not staying in Europe just a couple more years. But we'd finally have stability. Which, after 4 years of travel nursing, I'm ready for.
So basically one decision would make life hard for me, one decision would make life hard for Adam. 

Sparing everyone the details of 5 months of research and paperwork and documents I've had to compile, and the many long phone conversations I had with Adam and my parents (the last of which, the mounting stress finally took its toll on me) we made a decision, just one day before the decision deadline date.

We're moving to Switzerland!

We will be living in Lausanne. Which is an hour from Geneva, on the lake. We have to be there by July 1st. His company is going to help me get a work permit and also with french lessons and job assistance. I will initially get a job in tourism or at a restaurant until the nursing paperwork goes through, which will take a few months. 

March 31st I leave California and head to Denver to visit my sister. Then I'm spending a couple days in Florida for some wedding planning. Then on April 7th I fly to Stockholm to meet up with Adam because he coincidentally has a meeting there. And on April 11th I will be back in France. 

We will have a lot of tedious things to get done for this move and I started working on them back in January. Visa, work permit, apartment search, nursing license paperwork, French fluency exams, etc. And to top it all off I have to plan a wedding in Florida while living in Switzerland. At least that part should be fun. 


I'll try to keep up with updates on the process, all I can say is I hope the Swiss are more efficient than the French